I can’t believe I have been here for almost a year! I never believe people when they say time will fly by, but it really is flying by! I just got back from my vacation to the Caribbean, and it was amazing!! The culture in Livingston is completely different from the rest of Guatemala. The people are black and speak Spanish with a Jamaican accent. I could not believe that I was still in Guatemala. I was expecting the people to speak in English but then when they spoke Spanish came out. It was crazy! The vacation was a lot of fun. We went to a waterfall in Rio Dulce that was hot but fell into a cold pool, and we got to cliff jump into it. In Livingston we were basically just beach bums for 3 days, and I was totally ok with that. Saturday was their Garifuna day so there were parades and music everywhere. Every block there were drum circles and people dancing Punta, which is the typical dance. The people were so nice and welcoming and everyone was just having a good time. I was definitely not ready to leave…. It took me 12 hours to get home on Sunday but it was well worth it! When I got back to Cajolá I had to recover from vacation for a few days J But traveling even to different places in Guatemala makes me want to keep traveling all over the world. There is so much to see out there! Sorry Mom and Dad… I might never come home and just continue my journey after the Peace Corps J

It feels good to be home though. I know Suki missed me. The family next door took care of him while I was gone, and they said he was sad the entire time and wouldn’t even play with them which is not like Suki at all. When I’m home he never leaves me alone and is a little ball of energy. Being away made me realize that I have people (and a dog) here who miss me when I’m gone, so it felt good to get back to my friends and the family. Monday I started back up with my girls’ group again, which is going really well. On Mondays I teach English and on Wednesdays we do other activities. The English class is pretty boring, so I’m going to have to come up with some activities or ways to spice it up so the girls aren’t bored out of their minds. Wednesdays are more fun. About 10 girls have been coming consistently, and they’re finally starting to loosen up a little bit and get more comfortable with me.

Two weeks ago we did an activity on self-esteem. I gave each of the girls a blank sheet of paper, and I read situations that might affect their self-esteem in a negative way. For each situation they had to rip off a piece of the paper with the size of the piece representing how much that specific situation would affect them. For example, “you friends didn’t invite you to a party,” which might affect someone a lot or “your favorite soccer team lost a game,” which probably wouldn’t affect them very much. I was really surprised by their reactions because they were like “Seño, we’re always happy! If my friends didn’t invite me, I would just get over it!” It could be because things don’t really affect them that easily, or they don’t really get down on themselves, or because they have never really confronted their feelings before. Part of the culture here is not showing your feelings and kind of bottling things up and moving on, so I think it was good for them to think about and confront different situations. After we broke apart our self-esteems with negative situations, I read positive situations to build our self-esteems back up, and at the end we had full pieces of paper again. I think they really liked the activity even if they acted like they couldn’t relate to the situations. The main thing I wanted them to take away from it is that we all come across bad days or bad situations that affect us in a negative way, but those are the times when we need to think positively and lean into our friends and family for support.

This past Wednesday we had an arts and crafts day. I know they think I’m weird when I’m just giving them classes all the time, talking about who knows what so this week we had a little fun. I brought music and materials and we made homemade journals for them to write their thoughts and feelings in. It was educational in that I was teaching them to express themselves and that it’s healthy to release emotions… and what better way to do that than through writing! Plus kids here are crazy about arts and crafts. I have girls in my group ranging from 11-16 but every single one of them loved making a journal. I brought old magazines, glitter, markers, ribbon, construction paper, and they just had a blast making their own personalized journals. We had so much fun we were there for 2 ½ hours! They didn’t want to leave! It was fun just to be with them, not as their teacher, but just as girls having a good time. I think these girls are helping me grow just as much as I might be helping them. They are definitely helping me tune into my creative side, and I have never been so confident in my entire life. These girls make me feel like what I’m doing and what I have to say is really important and worthwhile and it makes me feel really good to know that I can use my talents and experiences to help other people.

I am getting really anxious/excited to head back to the states for Christmas. Only 25 days!!!! It’s going to be like reverse culture shock to be back, but I am more than ready to take a break from Guatemala. It is really cold where I live right now, and this morning I had to give myself a pep talk just to take a shower. I’ve gotten pretty good at taking less than 5 minute showers… I take my ipod in with me and usually I can finish showering before a song is over J WARNING: I will be eating anything and everything while I am home so guard your food J I am mentally preparing myself to gain a million pounds while I’m in the states because there are so many foods that I miss/don’t have any access to, or don’t have easy access to such as sushi. There are no limits and I have no shame… I might just turn into one big sushi roll while I’m in Florida!   

It will be hard being in the states knowing that all of my friends here will probably never have the opportunity to go there, and that I get to leave Guatemala and go to the states where I have everything I could ever want, but I guess that is just the reality of life. The people I’ve met here will always be a part of me, and I can see myself coming back even after I’ve finished my service. The girls next door call me their sister and the mom calls me her daughter, and I would definitely do anything for them. One of the girls next door is pregnant due in May and asked me to be the godmother. It’s hard sometimes because I don’t know if they want me to be the godmother because I can provide gifts or money or because they truly want me as part of their family. I told them that I would think about it, and after a couples days of thinking I told them that I would love to be the godmother. I have made such a special connection with the family next door, and I don’t want to just finish my service and never be in their lives again. I think it’s an honor that they would want me to be a part of their family and be the godmother of their child, and it will keep us connected forever! The other day I was just hanging out with the girls next door sipping our café and we got to talking about how I have a year and a half left, and the mom started crying thinking about me leaving. It was the most touching thing. I told her not to think about it because I still have a lot of time here and that even after I leave I can always come back and visit. I tried to reassure her in saying that there will be another volunteer after me but she said “it won’t be the same because they won’t be you.” It literally brought tears to my eyes. She told me she’s going to find me a man here so that I’ll fall in love and have to stay… we’re still working on that!

Anywho enough of my rambling… in the coming weeks I have a couple trips planned to visit a couple of my friends’ sites and then I will be roasting on the beach in Ocean Reef! Miss you all!!! Xoxo Maddie